This morning as I was mowing the lawn I was thinking about how divorce is just so not fun. I wrote down some of my thoughts and shared them with my sister and sister-in-law just to get it off my chest. My sister wrote me back and encouraged me to share it here too. She said you never know who may need to read it. So here it is world. This is me. This is what I'm going through, these are what my struggles are. This is what my world looks like right now. I try to look for the positive in everything, like the smell of the freshly cut grass and the warm sun as I was mowing the lawn, but sometimes, it just helps to admit that this whole thing is just hard. Really hard. I hope there is someone out there who will benefit from reading this because then it will make it all seem a little easier to bear.
Getting unmarried is significantly less fun, and more expensive, than getting married.
Instead of falling deeper in love, your heart is getting broken into a million little pieces.
Instead of planning a wedding, you try to figure out the logistics of the divorce.
Instead of having bridal showers you go over affidavits.
Instead of receiving gifts, you divide up everything you have.
Instead of dreaming of what you will name your future kids, you agonize over how to minimize the trauma of the divorce on your children.
Instead of wedding cake, you have more fast food than you care to admit.
Instead of wedding invitations you have court dates.
Instead of picking a wedding date, you wonder how long it will take to get divorced, and when you will ever get some closure.
Instead of going to the temple and showing your recommend at the front desk, you go to the court house and go through the metal detector.
Instead of a wedding planner you have therapists and attorneys.
Instead of a honeymoon, you have lonely days without your children.
Instead of wedding flowers you have bills.
Instead of marriage prep classes, you have divorce education classes.
And, instead of feeling the happiest you have ever felt in your life, you feel sad, and lonely, and depressed.
P.S. I am not really sad and lonely and depressed all the time, but I definitely have my moments.