somewhere to go & someone to talk to

I recently posted a link to an article on my Facebook page about things to avoid saying to divorced moms. There were a bunch of comments and I'm afraid the impression I gave was that people need to walk on eggshells with us single mamas. Although there are some things that sting that people have told me, I think after the road I have traveled, and others in my situation, it's fair to say that I've got pretty thick skin. I was thinking about how it is hard to know what to do or say for people who are going through hard things that we ourselves haven't experienced and we feel at a loss as to how to extend a helping hand. I know I felt that way today at church when I saw a friend who had recently lost the baby she was carrying and nearly died herself. She had been barraged with people asking how she was and yet still I asked the same question everyone else asked... "How are you?" ...and I wished I had something better to say.

The other day a friend of mine said to me that I was welcome at their home anytime if I ever wanted to just hang out. That really meant a lot to me. Somewhere to go. That meant if I was feeling lonely I had somewhere to go.

I have also been blessed with very non-judgemental friends who are willing to listen and listen. These special friends probably wish they could shake me sometimes or tell me to just forget about it and move on. But they have extended to me patience and respect for where I am in my journey through divorce-land. They have been there when I needed to talk, even when things in their own lives were less than perfect.

So, what could you say or do for someone who is divorced? I think two of the most compassionate things you could say are that they are welcome in your home any time and that you are there for them if they ever want to talk.

Maybe they won't come over. Maybe they won't call. But I assure you that if they are anything like me, just extending that offer is something that will bring that person a lot of peace and comfort.

Divorce Diaries : Dating

They say that when you have kids you get "Mommy Mush Brain". You start not being able to remember things etc... I would like to add that when you get divorced it's like putting that mush in a blender with the lid off and having it splatter all over your kitchen. At least how that's how I have felt at times.

I am starting to feel like I am getting myself back together after some traumatic years. This week in particular I am feeling on top of it because my friend Connie came over and was my very own Dave Ramsey and my cousin Heidi came over and was my very own Martha Stewart organizer. I am SO grateful for their help. It has made a huge difference.

A dear friend just shared this great quote with me:

"To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone."

In the spirit of the funny bone I wanted to share a funny dating story...

This guy is not much of an online guy so I seriously doubt he will ever read this, but if he does, he should probably consider not keeping this line in his dating repertoire conversations...

I was asking him about dating since he has been divorced for quite awhile and he told me, and I quote:

"Well since I am quite handsome and quite well-to-do there are lots of women who want to date me."

He actually went on and said more, but in my shock the details were lost to my memory, which is a shame...because I think they were probably equally as shocking/funny :)


At least since he has so many women chasing him he won't miss me.

a Tuesday morning in January

It's Tuesday morning and I woke up to Talmage crawling in bed with me with his ice cold feet. (He always seems to throw his blankets off while he is sleeping) After some morning snuggles we went downstairs and got our day started. Sydney eventually wandered downstairs sleepily and laid on the couch as she woke up all the way. Dishes were finished up, a load of laundry was started and at the kitchen table for over an hour this is what was happening...

Sydney and Talmage pouring over an Oriental Trading catalog and circling all of their favorites. Complete with very animated conversation:) 

It was so cute.

Well now it's time to take our lazy morning into high gear and get everyone all ready. Ready, set....

listen

My word for 2012 is listen.
(Read HERE about my yearly word tradition.)

I'm not exactly sure why or how I chose this word, or how it chose me, but it just seems like it's the right fit for 2012. I think it denotes being calm, and taking time to reflect and connect with others, with God, and with myself.

I am VERY excited for 2012. I know it will be an awesome year. I am planning on having a big party on my birthday this year because it will be 12-12-12!

{photography by yanphoto.com

card design by mypublisher}

lately...

My little mugs have returned! They had so much fun being with their cousins, aunts & uncles, Papa and especially Nana while they were in Denver. They are very loved by so many people.

Sydney and Talmage are animal lovers through and through. In addition to Max their dog and Blackberry their hamster, they now have some more animal kingdom friends...Steve the snake, Cookie Dough the cat, and, Sydney's new love, Howie the teeny tiny dog. (Lucky for me, none of these animals live with me so I don't have to take care of them :)


Before Christmas we took a trip to California for the wedding of my cousin Nicole. My sister Emily has blogged about it so I will just send you over to her blog to get the full report on Disneyland,  The Beach,  and   The Wedding festivities... I'm liking this arrangement of me taking the pictures and Em blogging about it...otherwise I am too nit-picky about the pictures and take forever to edit and post them:)

Here's one beach picture...

And...of course, one last little detail...

Happy New Year!
2012 is going to be great!

Missing these mugs

I try to keep busy

to keep from missing you.

but the truth is, 

I will always miss you two.

No matter the distance,

or how near or far apart

a piece of me is missing

in the center of my heart,

when I don't see you every day

the feeling just won't go away.

i love you i love you i love you

Christmas Cards, Mrs. Clause, and Snow

Have I mentioned how much I like Christmas cards? I LOVE them! If you have sent me a Christmas card, I love you. And I'll have you know that it is hanging up and will be for a long while :-)


In other news, Christmasing is in full swing. Last day of school for the kids was today...Sydy's teacher even dressed up like Santa :-) Syd and T had their Christmas Concert on Monday and we will be making a special delivery to the Christmas Box House tomorrow. Such a great organization. Earlier in the month we attended a special benefit concert for orphans in Bulgaria sponsored by the kids of a friend of mine. I snapped some pics that you can see on Saren's blog here.

Happy Christmasing!

Prolific

Where can you find Sydney? Wherever there is something to draw or write with and something to draw or write on. :-)

I love Sydy.

:-)

change is the only constant

First big change...

I am officially divorced.

Such sad words. Such a contrast to the words of a wedding ceremony. I am so relieved that the process is over, however.

Second change, not quite so big.

I am now going to be working in sales for BasicGrey with their brand new Baby & Child line. So excited! My job is to work with children/baby boutique's and get BasicGrey products on their shelves. The BasicGrey storage barrels just won the prestigious Red Tricycle Award! I will also be working with fabric stores to get BasicGrey's fun new offerings on their shelves as well. If BasicGrey sounds familiar to you quilters out there it's because Moda (big fabric brand) licenses BasicGrey designs which are always in Moda's top 5 collections each season. If you are a scrapbooker, you will definitely recognize the BasicGrey name for their very popular scrapbook paper and accessories.

BasicGrey was founded by my dear friend Rachel Hawkes Brenchley and I am honored to have the opportunity to represent her company and be inspired by her amazing talents and impeccable taste.

This will soon be hanging in Sydney's room. Love love love love the BasicGrey product line!

Look at all this fun stuff!



Third.

I am doing some photography work as a side job. (Single mom, two jobs...geez...I never would have thought!) So far I don't have a blog or website, but I do have a facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Beccam-photo/133251253446033

Here are some samples of my recent photography work.

Gather Round

Happy Thanksgiving! This was my first major holiday without Syd and T so I decided to head down to some warmer weather to keep my mind off of not being able to be with them. This is the longest I have ever been without my babies and I can't wait to see them tomorrow!!

I have been the very lucky houseguest of my cousin Heidi and her husband Travis who live in Gilbert, Arizona. I can't imagine having more hospitable hosts! 

Sweet Austin, who Sydney and Talmage would have loved playing with, let me take over his room.

He delivered this to me in the morning and made me feel right at home...

...even offered a little in-room yoga sesh:)

And an in-room library with some of my very favorites!

It was so great to be with three of my cousins and their families as well as some of their extended families. While I have been here I have also been able to see some dear friends and do some photo shoots.

I loved being in the Garza's lovely home.

It was all decorated for Thanksgiving.

Heidi's geraniums made me think of Grandpa Milligan and brought back the warm musty smell of his greenhouse.

The Thanksgiving feast was delicious.

Avery helped her daddy peel potatoes.

Because, really, there can never be enough mashed potatoes right?

Carly's rolls were to-die-for.

And I made Travis and Heidi pose for this:-)

The kids were in the other room.

Along with the fabulous food we also had some great entertainment at my end of the table. Ryan told us in detail about how he helped deliver Sophie when she was born. Things are never dull with Ryan:-)!!! I love it! Natalie, Ryan and I stayed up really late one night laughing our heads off...I haven't laughed so much in a long time! Aren't cousins the best!

There was some football after dinner...

...and some great light on the back porch so I had everyone come get their picture snapped.

Natalie & Ryan (6 kiddos!)

 Natalie and Heidi's shots for their upcoming books (heehee)

Heidi, Me and Natalie.

 Sisters

Mother and daughter

 Natalie and Ryan

Heidi and Travis

And then the next day I took pics of my friend Becky and her family.

Such cute newlyweds:-)

Hope you had a Happy Thanksgiving!